Today I want to start a new series on the blog, that will continue every second Thursday. One where the theme is about creating a great, happy home for you and for me. One where we not only talk about embracing imperfection, but where we make steps to do it. One where we focus more on the memories we are making and less of how picture perfect it might look from the outside. And one where we start where we are and stop waiting for things to be ‘just right’ before beginning.This is the first installment.
It’s really easy to put the tricky life decisions off. To wait for things to be perfect. For that dream home or the dream partner, or the dream career or maybe even for those kiddos you’ve been dreaming of having. But perfect rarely ever comes in a timely manner, if at all. Believe me, I’ve been the master of avoiding tricky!
What I realised – in a moment of clarity – about 2 years ago, standing on the Brooklyn Bridge in the freezing cold, is that you have to build a foundation if you want to make something happen. You have to start working on creating a happy home no matter your life stage or how together you feel you are. It doesn’t happen on it’s own. (Wouldn’t that be nice if it did though?!)
I’ve talked before about what a happy home is to me, but now I want to talk more about why it’s important for me that I work on it a little bit every day. Truth is, I don’t remotely have my shit together, or have the home I want or the kiddos that I dream of having right now.
Things aren’t as I thought they would be by this age, but it’s time to let go of that and focus on what’s important to me now. And that is, that I start building the happy life and the happy home (a space rather than a location) that I want so that when these things finally come into my world in the future, I’m not starting from scratch. Not in one quick ta-da! moment, but little-by-little every day.
I want to find those little things that make life feel easier for me. Whether it be in creating a routine for exercise that helps me feel great, or organising my cupboards so that I know where things are when I need them, or in preparing for those times where I drop the ball and need a last minute present. (That happens way more than you might think!)
I also want to make more time for the things (and people) that I love so I never wake up again and wonder how on earth I let myself get so far from where I want to be because someone else thought it was right for me and I didn’t have the heart to say no. Building a foundation for my happy home puts me in the driver’s seat. It’s a little bit scary but just quietly, it’s a bit ace.
The benefit of getting clear about the life you want, I think, is that you’re much more prepared to enjoy it, when you get it. That’s not to say that you ever really be done, but there comes a point where you can say “I’m happy with what I’ve going on right now. Things are good.” And that’s what we should be working towards. What that looks like for you, will no doubt be different than what it looks like for me. And that’s a good thing.
A happy home doesn’t have to be a mansion with a cleaning staff and 360˚ views of the ocean. It needs to be somewhere you feel like you’re living a good life and where there are more up days than down ones. Where there is room for genuine laughter and memories to be made. It’s about feeling safe and secure and like there’s that magic word – enough. It’s about thinking about what is really important to you and getting a little bit closer to that as often as you can.
Some days it will be all about the attitude you have to the situations you find yourself in and other times it will be the glee on your face when you finally sit on that couch you’ve been saving up for for months and months or the new bedding you were able to treat yourself to. And sometimes it will be sitting at a table with someone who means the world to you and just sharing your day.
You don’t have to wait until you have money, or babies, or the perfect house, or whatever it is that you think “I’ll start this after I have ____”. Think about what you want for yourself (and your family, if that’s your role) and think of one small thing you can do to get you closer to your happy home and start there.
As Alison from The Alison Show says, “Make your life the party you just can’t miss”. Don’t wait for things to be perfect, just start now. One little thing at a time.
Tell me, what’s one thing you could do this week that would make your home feel happier?