Today I want to start a new series on the blog, that will continue every second Thursday. One where the theme is about creating a great, happy home for you and for me. One where we not only talk about embracing imperfection, but where we make steps to do it. One where we focus more on the memories we are making and less of how picture perfect it might look from the outside. And one where we start where we are and stop waiting for things to be ‘just right’ before beginning.This is the first installment.
It’s really easy to put the tricky life decisions off. To wait for things to be perfect. For that dream home or the dream partner, or the dream career or maybe even for those kiddos you’ve been dreaming of having. But perfect rarely ever comes in a timely manner, if at all. Believe me, I’ve been the master of avoiding tricky!
What I realised – in a moment of clarity – about 2 years ago, standing on the Brooklyn Bridge in the freezing cold, is that you have to build a foundation if you want to make something happen. You have to start working on creating a happy home no matter your life stage or how together you feel you are. It doesn’t happen on it’s own. (Wouldn’t that be nice if it did though?!)
I’ve talked before about what a happy home is to me, but now I want to talk more about why it’s important for me that I work on it a little bit every day. Truth is, I don’t remotely have my shit together, or have the home I want or the kiddos that I dream of having right now.
Things aren’t as I thought they would be by this age, but it’s time to let go of that and focus on what’s important to me now. And that is, that I start building the happy life and the happy home (a space rather than a location) that I want so that when these things finally come into my world in the future, I’m not starting from scratch. Not in one quick ta-da! moment, but little-by-little every day.
I want to find those little things that make life feel easier for me. Whether it be in creating a routine for exercise that helps me feel great, or organising my cupboards so that I know where things are when I need them, or in preparing for those times where I drop the ball and need a last minute present. (That happens way more than you might think!)
I also want to make more time for the things (and people) that I love so I never wake up again and wonder how on earth I let myself get so far from where I want to be because someone else thought it was right for me and I didn’t have the heart to say no. Building a foundation for my happy home puts me in the driver’s seat. It’s a little bit scary but just quietly, it’s a bit ace.
The benefit of getting clear about the life you want, I think, is that you’re much more prepared to enjoy it, when you get it. That’s not to say that you ever really be done, but there comes a point where you can say “I’m happy with what I’ve going on right now. Things are good.” And that’s what we should be working towards. What that looks like for you, will no doubt be different than what it looks like for me. And that’s a good thing.
A happy home doesn’t have to be a mansion with a cleaning staff and 360˚ views of the ocean. It needs to be somewhere you feel like you’re living a good life and where there are more up days than down ones. Where there is room for genuine laughter and memories to be made. It’s about feeling safe and secure and like there’s that magic word – enough. It’s about thinking about what is really important to you and getting a little bit closer to that as often as you can.
Some days it will be all about the attitude you have to the situations you find yourself in and other times it will be the glee on your face when you finally sit on that couch you’ve been saving up for for months and months or the new bedding you were able to treat yourself to. And sometimes it will be sitting at a table with someone who means the world to you and just sharing your day.
You don’t have to wait until you have money, or babies, or the perfect house, or whatever it is that you think “I’ll start this after I have ____”. Think about what you want for yourself (and your family, if that’s your role) and think of one small thing you can do to get you closer to your happy home and start there.
As Alison from The Alison Show says, “Make your life the party you just can’t miss”. Don’t wait for things to be perfect, just start now. One little thing at a time.
Tell me, what’s one thing you could do this week that would make your home feel happier?
Oh I really like the idea of this series. I’ve read the post in-depth and followed the links to the other posts and I think this speaks to me a lot at the moment – I don’t love my home or the time I spend in it – so I’m going to start following intensely.
Kate goes away to stalk the blog from the very beginning!
:)
Oh, thank you Kate! I am so looking forward to sharing it with you. I do hope that it will help. Can’t wait to share the next installment with you. x
Love this post. Lots I can do to make our home a happier home, and it starts with finally getting through all the mess my son (and I!) created over the long school holidays.
That’s a great place to start, Amanda. It’s a lot of fun to make the mess, but it can feel so much lighter when it’s all packed away again. :)
What a fabulous idea for a series. I’ve long been a fan of loving the home I have, mainly because I realised we couldn’t afford to do any major changes and if we did, I’d probably want something new once that was done, so I might as well enjoy where we are and enjoy the little changes we can make.
Oh I love that, Bele! That’s a great way of looking at it! I hope you enjoy the series :)
Loved this post Dannielle, I think you’ve hit on such a key thing! I can relate a lot – what with moving apartments and countries over many years, and not really knowing when (or where!) the husband and I would eventually create a home together.
We definitely took the approach of working with right now, rather than waiting for ‘perfect’. So we’ve been collecting bits and pieces that we love through all those years overseas – really special pieces of furniture, artwork that we adore, little treasures. I think having that long slow process has really helped us find the things that we do love, and it’s clarified the kind of spaces we like. It’s made moving in to the house we actually own so much easier!
That’s so wonderful to hear, Emily! I know it can be so tricky, especially when moving countries is involved. I love that you were able to start where you were and now have a great home with the things you love in it. x
Great post Danielle!
You’ve definitely hit the nail on the head about there never being a ‘perfect time’. I remember talking to Mum once before I had kids, and saying “when the time is right” and the first thing she said was “there is never a right time, you have to just go for it” and that has stuck with me ever since. I am definitely guilty of saying “one day…” and I’m still learning that that one day is today. I just have to jump in with both feet and go for it, whatever “it” may be.
Yes! I agree about jumping in with both feet! It takes some courage, but it’s so worth it! Thanks, Kylie! x